Friday, February 26, 2010

'Shahrukh Khan to host 'Pakistani' Filmfare awards on Saturday'

A Hindi film based award show in theory, Filmfare is apparently looking to honor the 26/11 NSG guards and rest of Pakistan-loving Indian armed forces this year by having Shahrukh 'Pakistan' Khan as its host. Wonder if Manoj Kumar is doing a marshalla to this one. That's not all. Accompanying Shahrukh Khan supposedly would be the 'Pakistani terrorist' hero of Kurbaan, saif ali khan. Are you ready for some jihad or what?
Mr. Khan, Mr. Khan, Mr. Khan. Mr. Ali. Mr. Hashmi. Mr. Shukranallah, Salaam Walekum. Noorekhuda. Allah Hafiz, Hail jalaluddin akbar, baabar, osama, pajama, saddam, badruddin, chashmuddin etc etc. Folks, get ready for some of this bonanza this saturday as what might as well be known as the 'Pakistani' Filmfare awards from now on look to be hosted in your neighborhood in Mumbai once more by none other than 'Pakistan's' biggest supporter, Janaab e ali Shahrukh Khan, coming recently off his epic Dulha Mil Gaya and My Name Is Khan but nonetheless with support of the wonderful 'Pak' fraternity that is film industry there in Mumbai.
Looking forward to more of that Islamic humor eh? People say Pakistan doesn't have a film industry. That's not true. Because when you got Bollywood, do you really need a Pakistani film industry? You've got the entire enchalada right there. Does ISI really need to do propoganda when you got Karan Johar, to make movies like My Name is Khan and Qurbaan? And here's the best part, your tax rupees will be used in part to fund and subsidize the security for all this.
What a coincidence that somehow this guy (Shahrukh Khan) or some other Khan often finds himself hosting the award ceremonies that they call Bollywood film awards in India? A guy like Shekhar Suman who *should* be hosting these awards, who's probably wittier than Shahrukh Khan (and had a 6 pack too to boot at age 47) is nowhere to be seen. Or a Madhavan or a Nagarjun if you wanna be national and go south to find a decent host. Or if you think none of the existing ones fit, how about new faces altogether. And if they wanted to harp about being secular, how about a dalit host for supposedly an industry that is supposed to be all about inclusiveness? But no, year after year after year, you'll see Khan show up for no reason. What kind of secular, open network is this? Exactly. This chump (Shahrukh Khan) was even awarded actor award for a movie which released not even last year but 2 years ago in 2008 at a recent producers guild award. Can't make it up.
What you're looking at at these awards is an Islamist/Pakistani tamasha unfolding in name of bollywood award stage acts. Where they may have 'popular' awards for movies like Jodha Akbar or Qurbaan and not many for a Border or a Gadar, which was twice the popular blockbuster a Jodha Akbar and Qurbaan combined were. So you never know that apart from hosting, Khan maybe getting a filmfare award for this my name is khan already. Actually don't put it past them to give him a popular nomination for Dulha Mil Gaya also.
It's a different matter that in the past Filmfare awards themselves hosted by Khan have gotten owned and beaten thumpingly in TRPs/TV ratings by awards NOT hosted by Khan.
Maybe it will get good ratings in Islamabad. So apart from Shahrukh Khan, soon Pervez Musharraf could do the opening dialogue at Filmfare and the ISI chief could do the closing one.
And hey, may be we could get a representative from Al Qaeda while we are at it.
And since these shows have tendency to make up award categories at random anyway, how about a best Award in the role of a Islamic terrorist? Qurbaan lives on! "And to introduce our next award category....please welcome....Ajmaaal Qasaaab!"
Just keep an eye on the flag wherever these Bollywood people are assembled. Make sure it's the tricolor one with the Saffron on top and Maurya Chakra on it. Because with these people, you never know. One day, they might just replace it on you with the mughalai flag without notice and next thing you know, there you are, shaking your behinds to the Pakistan national anthem in downtown Mumbai.

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