The Valentine’s Day-Chinese New Year dilemma

When valentines clash with families, lovers come second

Wai Ma, 36, left, and wife Sindy Ma, 31, plan to celebrate Valentine's Day on Saturday to make way for the Chinese New Year celebration with family on Sunday. The "double happiness" hearts symbolize the union of marriage.

Wai Ma has already prepared a love card and booked a romantic lunch at a hotel with his new wife, Sindy Lee.
But like many Chinese Canadians, the Mississauga soil scientist will be celebrating Valentine’s a day early to make room for the elaborate family gathering expected on Chinese New Year this Sunday.
Family or lover? It is a dilemma many Chinese couples are facing around the world as Valentine’s Day coincides with the first day of the Year of the Tiger. And families seem to have the upper hand.
“Chinese New Year is the biggest holiday for us. It’s about family getting together celebrating a year of prosperity, a fresh start that brings in hopes,” said Ma, 36, who married Lee last fall. “Valentine’s Day is more a Hallmark commercial holiday. To me, everyday with Sindy is a Valentine’s Day.”
So, the couple plans lunch on Saturday at the Radisson Hotel in Guelph, recalling their first date on Valentine’s Day a year ago at the same hotel chain in Regina, where they met.
“Valentine’s Day is about two people. We can always adjust our plans,” said Lee, 31, a flight attendant who will spend Sunday with her parents, brother and extended family. “Obviously, families always come first. And we can’t wait to give out red pockets (lucky money) for the first time as a (married) couple.”
While the dilemma is resolved for Ma and Lee, it’s bad news for florists, who complain people are buying New Year’s flowers in lieu of roses and lilies.
At the Celebrity Centre flower shop in New Kennedy Square Mall, owner Sally Zhang said sales of roses this year have dropped dramatically. As of Tuesday, she had only sold one-third of what she did last year.
“We have ordered lots of roses but they are not selling. It’s bad. People are buying pussy willows and mums for the New Year instead,” said Zhang, who is offering a 20 per cent discount off the $100-a-dozen roses. “I’m afraid it’s going to be a bad year for us.”
Torontonian Michael Wang, an immigrant from Shanghai, said Chinese give priority to the New Year’s over Valentine’s because the latter isn’t embedded in their more reserved traditional culture.
Wang celebrated his first Valentine’s Day after coming to Canada in 1996 by giving his wife of 20 years a bunch of red roses. Now, as a father of two, the computer shop owner said it’s more important to pass on the Chinese culture and traditions to the next generation.
“We don’t celebrate our heritage as thoroughly as we did back in China. This is the least we can do to connect our kids with their roots,” said Wang, who now only sends New Year’s greetings to friends by phone, as opposed to delivering them in person as in China.
“I’m sure my kids will find out more about Valentine’s Day on their own as they grow up here.”
At schools across the city, the holiday coincidence was further complicated by the opening of the Olympics and 100th-day celebrations for kindergarten and Grade 1 pupils.
Students at Frankland Community School on Logan Ave., for example, had activities Friday celebrating all four events, with teachers making presentations to help kids learn about various cultures and traditions.
“Many schools are doing the same,” said principal Inga Upeslacis, whose school will celebrate its centenary in May. “It’s a great opportunity for community building by celebrating these things together.”